I thought I would
revisit the story below as it tells how I came to love my Ryan. I wrote it a
little more than a year after moving to Arkansas. It was such a happy day, and
one I will always remember.
This story was first published in a paper where I worked in
November 2007, a few months after the birth of Ryan and her sisters. NOTE: After
reading it again, it was all I could do not to edit it, but I refrained because
that isn’t my point.
This happy day has been on my mind lately because Ryan is
nearing the end of her life. Admittedly, I’m having a hard time dealing with
the news that her life is limited.
Ryan is the best cat I’ve ever known and is my most reliable
companion. The two of us have been inseparable. She is my soul mate. She sleeps
with me and we hold hands. Ryan helps me quilt. She sits on my lap when I read,
sew, or watch TV. I’ve posted many pictures of Ryan on Facebook and in my blogs
many times, so she may already be familiar to you.
There is no distinctive diagnosis, but the vet suspects
Lymphoma. I received this news more than a month ago, as Ryan has started
showing signs of decline. She has lost almost half of her weight and clearly
doesn’t feel like being as cuddly as she once was. The last few days, she has
gained a little weight, though not nearly as much as her normal 7 lbs. I will continue
to monitor her condition and do whatever is in my power to make her happy and
comfortable and to share our lives together as long as we can.
I will not let her suffer. I will know when it is time, but
that time isn’t here quite yet. Except for her rather extreme weight loss, she
still seems to find joy in living, evidenced by her interest in teasing her
mom, playing with her sisters, and poking her nose into an open window to smell
the breezes wafting into the house. She
does all the things a healthy cat does; eat drink, and the elimination of both,
though not always in the litter box.
The last month has been a roller coaster ride, and there
seems to be more of the monotonous slow climb than the exciting twists and
turns and fast free-fall, but I feel I owe Ryan the best I have since that is
what she has always given to me.
The following is the story I wrote when the girls were born.
It was such a happy day.
Crazy about cats or just plain crazy?
When I was a youngster living in Chicago, there was a lady
down the street who we kids in the neighborhood mockingly called Crazy Annie.
I sometimes think about her, wishing I could remember more
about her. It makes me laugh because I think I have become her.
My memories of Annie are vague, because my family moved out
of that neighborhood when I was 6 yrs. old.
I remember that Annie used to reward my brother and me for
picking seeds for her from her Four O’clock plants. All I remember is that she
gave us pennies for them. I don’t recall any other details, about how many we
had to pick, or even what kind of container we used. It must have been a jar,
because there was no such thing as plastic bags back then.
I recall that the inside of Annie’s house was dark – blinds were
always drawn. There was a kind of red glow in her living room from the sunshine
behind the curtains. I remember being a little scared. Thinking back, she was
the quintessential old spinster who had lots of cats running around.
For most of my adult life, I’ve had a cat and sometimes two.
But after a stray we named Timi wandered onto our property last fall, my
husband John and I now have six.
Timi, who was obviously young, was a calico with muted
colors. She seemingly appeared out of nowhere once night. Apparently she chose
us. It was almost like she was stalking us. She knew which room we occupied
because she peered into the window at us, pacing back and forth on the brick
ledge just outside the glass, always meowing. When we were outside, she followed
us and was always affectionate. She showed up in the morning at whatever door
we opened to let out our dog Sam. It was almost as if she knew. And Timi was
very vocal about her desire to become friends.
We put food out for her, because it wasn’t long before she
won our hearts. She was never far away from the house. Finally, it started
getting colder outside, so we let her into the house. She even made friends
with our resident cat, Emily, a 10-year old long-haired gray cat with an
attitude.
In the spring, we noticed a change in Timi. She became
restless, and wanted to go outside. While we debated about what to do, Timi
made the decision for us. We woke one morning to find the screen broken out of
a back porch window. Timi was gone.
But she soon reappeared. Only this time, she wasn’t exactly
alone. It soon became apparent that Timi was pregnant. She was always very
affectionate, especially toward John. But he wasn’t as quick to embrace the
idea of little kittens as I was. I couldn’t wait. Timi must have sensed that
too, so during her pregnancy, it was my lap she wanted to claim. I was more
than happy to oblige. I can’t resist baby animals, but I am most fond of
kittens.
I read all I could on the Internet about the feline birthing
process. Timi was a very young cat and I hoped her instincts would guide her.
But if not, I was ready to help. I sensed when she was very close to giving
birth. I was afraid she might want to have her kittens in private, which is
customary for cats. But, she actually came to get me when the time had come. I
was at my computer when she jumped onto the window screen. She climbed
frantically.
It was July 11 and I played midwife to Timi’s five kittens that
were born in a newspaper lined box next to the swing on the front porch. John wanted
no part of this process, but was just inside the house. He was like a nervous
grandpa.
I was in awe as Timi knew exactly what to do. I gingerly
moved the first kitten to another box, while Timi gave birth to the next one.
This went on until there were five in the litter. I put them back into the box
with their other. I decided then and there that I couldn’t part with any of
them.
Since John and I had difficulty agreeing on the names for
our own two children, I figured it would be really difficult to come up with
five more names. So, we decided to name them after NASCAR drivers.
The first born was Ryan, named for Ryan Newman, our favorite
drivers. The others were Kenny (Kenny Wallace); Junior (Dale Earnhardt, Jr.);
Kasey (Kasey Kahn); and Rusty (Rusty Wallace).
The birth went well taking about three hours. Timi did
great. She was very attentive and caring – showing signs of being an excellent
mother.
We were not without issues however, as Junior was born with
a deformed right front paw. I decided we had to love her the most. And, she is
smaller than the others. Rusty was the runt of the litter, and lived only 11
days. She was probably the prettiest kitten, as she was marked much like her
mother with lots of colors. The others are all variations of gray and white.
They are just over three months old now. They are healthy
and active – oh are they active! They have all, along with their mother, been
spayed.
We guessed that Ryan was the only male in the bunch, but
were surprised to learn that she too was a female. All of our NASCAR-named kittens
are girls! Too late now, they know their names.
It has been an absolute joy to experience the development of
these little critters. Kittens seem to develop on an accelerated schedule, with
visible changes almost daily.
Each has a personality all her own. Ryan has stayed true to
her early beginnings, as the sweet, cuddly one. Kasey is the scaredy-cat, who
jumps at unfamiliar sound, though jumps first and with all four feet. She seems
to be taking on the characteristic of alpha cat, or top dog, which to me, is
just another word for trouble maker. Junior is the tough one, a fierce
competitor with her siblings. She’s not afraid of anything, even though she has
a disability. Early on, she worked hard at keeping up with the others, doing
what they did, even if it wasn’t always graceful. Kenny is the mellow one, who
goes along with whatever the others do, but never does it first.
There is no better illustration of family bonding and
dependency than to watch these siblings interact with their mother and each
other. Timi, who started this as a youngster herself, has grown into a mature
and protective mother, using her instincts to teach her all she needed to know.
Now that her kittens are bigger, she has begun to play with them. She no longer
acts solely as their defender. Yet, she remains protective.
Emily isn’t fond of any of them. She remembers when she was
the only object of our affection. She must share that now and isn’t happy about
it. Lots of hissing and growling goes on. That challenge remains, but these
kittens will likely win her over. She is already curious about them.
For now, the kittens will remain inside cats. Though Timi
has ventured back outside, she comes in at night. After all, we rescued her
from the wild. She is friends with raccoons, runs with the deer, and is a good
mouse and snake hunter. We no longer leave food outside because there have been
black bear cubs in the area and we’d rather not attract them. Our only hope is
that Timi stays close to home and doesn’t get into trouble.
We are comforted to know that she won’t have more kittens,
despite the affection we have for these. It just isn’t responsible to allow her
to be outside without having first been spayed.
Because Timi was a stray, our local humane society helped with
the cost of spaying. We will support them in the future any way we can. Had we
not given Timi a home, she might be having a second litter. And since her four
kittens are females, they would likely have had kittens of their own as well,
had we not intervened. And on and on it goes. It is hard to imagine that so
many unwanted cats are born each year. It is even harder to imagine how many of
them have to be killed because there is no one to take them all in.
As I look around the house, a cat in nearly every view, I
think back to my younger days, and of Annie, the neighbor with lots of cats.
This was a woman who was kind to young children. She paid us
pennies to collect seeds from her perennials that would probably have re-seeded
themselves anyway. Her action taught us that work paid rewards and that we
should be diligent in our endeavors. I remember carefully picking only the
ripe, plump, black seeds and leaving the rest for another time.
Annie befriended us. She brought us into her home. Those
were days of innocence when neighbors were not to be feared. And she let us pet
her cats. In doing so, she showed us she trusted us. They were obviously very
important to her. That first feeling of silky fur between my fingers must have
made an impression.
I’ve thought of Annie from time to time, wondering whatever
became of her. I never even knew her last name. Sadly, there was much I didn’t
know about her. I think if I knew her now, I would like her. There is one thing
I know for sure. Annie wasn’t crazy.