Goodbye my sweet girl

For a week I have rattled around the house, feeling somewhat lost; I’m almost afraid to look at the floor, the window sill, pillows on the couch, my quilts... A profound sadness floats around like an invisible specter, void of the joy that once was but is no more. A week ago I had to say goodbye to my beautiful Ryan.

Ryan was more than a cat, more than just a pet. Ryan was a part of my soul. She understood my moods; she shared in every part of my life. She brought me so much pleasure. She made me laugh. And now I cry.

Ryan was born, along with her four litter mates on July 11, 2007. I will never forget the day her mother, Timi, summoned me for help as I sat at my computer. She climbed the window screen next to my desk, her belly bulging. I knew it was time and I was ready. I had read all about cats giving birth. Timi was young, so I was ready to help her if needed.

Timi came to us as a stray. We resisted the urge to feed her and bring her inside, but one day I’d had enough of her peeking into the windows at us, so I decided it was time to bring her in the house. Shortly thereafter, she pushed out the screen and jumped onto the ground through an open window. She came home pregnant. I was elated.

I had already made her a birthing box on the front porch. She was eager to hop into the box and set out to deliver her kittens. When the first kitten was born, Timi knew just what to do. Like a good feline mom, she licked the baby until she was clean and dry. When Timi turned her attention to give birth to the second kitten, I picked up that first baby, who I had already named Ryan after my favorite NASCAR driver, Ryan Newman. I had a second box lined with newspapers and baby afghans from my own kids on the porch as well, but I just couldn’t let go of this perfect little bundle of gray and white fluff. Her eyes were closed; her ears lay flat on her head. She had the cutest little pink nose and tiniest little paws. She was magnificent. I fell completely in love with her.

Five babies were born that day almost 15 years ago. Only two remain along with their mother.  

Rusty, the runt of the litter, and probably the prettiest one who resembled her mother’s muted Calico colors, lived only 11 days.

Boo died three years ago. She succumbed to a respiratory infection, which she had often. Boo, a.k.a. Junior was our three-legged cat, born with a deficiency on her entire right side, including her front paw which she could not use. She was very small, and often sickly, but feisty and the toughest one of the bunch.

As the kittens grew, it became clear that Ryan, pictured in the kitty condo in the top left, was my favorite. She and I were together all the time. She joined me at the computer, often times walking on the keys or climbing into a file drawer. She helped me fold laundry, often times jumping into the dryer and trying to make a nest in the clean, warm clothes. I couldn’t make a bed without Ryan hiding under the sheets. When I took a bath, she was intrigued by the bubbles. She walked back and forth on the side of the tub as if pacing. Sometimes she put her paw on my shoulder. It appeared as though she wanted to jump in, though she never did. She was light on her feet and very agile; she only fell in once. What a surprise that was!

Ryan enjoyed my favorite pastime, quilting. When I hand-quilted, she sat beneath the folds of fabric on my lap or on top of my work, so as if to say, “stop quilting Mom, time for me.” When I worked at my machine, I had to take lots of breaks as she insisted on my paying attention to her. Often times, she curled up in a pile of fabric in a basket just to be nearby. Our favorite time was when I sat in my recliner to watch TV. I never had an empty lap.  And when I finished a quilt, she always showed her appreciation
for my handiwork. I think she figured I made quilts just for her.

About four years ago, Ryan got very sick. No one really knew what was wrong with her. She was diagnosed with Bobcat Fever, but I don’t think that was what ailed her. She started losing weight and ran a fever, but she recovered, though never completely. In the next couple years she had good days and bad days until one day she got very sick again. A new vet diagnosed her with possible lymphoma. She continued to lose weight, but on medication, she remained active and seemingly recovered again. This roller coaster went on for some time. She no longer used her litter box. She became a very finicky eater. She was no longer anxious to be cuddled. And, she enjoyed time by herself. Then a couple weeks ago, I knew. Normally a small cat, Ryan weighed only three pounds. I knew her time had to come to an end. She stopped eating and no longer enjoyed her life, so there was no longer a choice. I had to say goodbye to her.

A piece of my heart went with her. I’m grateful to Dr. Sarah Shedenhelm of Baxter County Animal Clinic for her kindness and understanding.

The house and all the places Ryan frequented is empty now, despite her two remaining sisters Kasey and Kenni as well as her mom Timi. As much as I love the others, they are not my Ryan. The bond between us will never be broken as she will live in my heart forever. She will always be my best girl.

 

New toy for the girls

Cats have such a happy life, where everything is fun!

Since we just bought new furniture, we thought we would give it a fighting chance, protecting it from the plethora of cat claws we have in our house. So, we recently gave the girls a new scratching post. You would have thought they had never seen one before. Silly me--I thought a scratching post was rather utilitarian. In reality, it is just another cat toy. But then, isn't everything?

Kasey is so aloof
She is also the resident Fraidy Cat

The video at right, reveals the real personalities in three of our four cats. Kasey isn't in it, since she is nowhere to be found at the moment. Wait til she finds out her sister are going to be movie stars and she is left out. I can see the pouty look on her face already. Kasey is generally such a Fraidy Cat. The fourth born, she always follows behind her sisters, never taking that first step. She has apparently seen that no harm has come to them, because she certainly has gone after  that scratching post with a real fervor.

Ryan is the adventurous one. Though Ryan looks very much like Kasey--in fact we call them twins--she is very different. She is the first to try anything. As afraid as Kasey is, Ryan is just the opposite. She is fearless. We named her after Ryan Newman, my favorite NASCAR driver whose nickname is Flyin' Ryan, named for how he drives around a racetrack. That moniker fits his namesake. This cat climbs to the top of everything she sees--the bedroom door, the top of the window, the top of our seven-foot bookcase, etc. 

Then there is Junior, a.k.a. The Bug. She is the smallest, sweetest and most innocent-looking one of the bunch. She was born with a deformed right front paw, so she hobbles on three legs most of the time. She also has a tendency to be a loner, and is seemingly less healthy than her sisters. She is also the most affectionate. She likes to snuggle, with any of her sisters, with me, or with our dog, Shadow, a rescue dog who makes a slight appearance at the end of the video. Shadow and Junior are buddies, although he doesn't really get along with the others consistently. Junior's looks are deceiving. While she looks like a little angel, she can be an attack cat. It is difficult to imagine by looking at her, but she is the bully of the bunch. If she wants a space, for example and one of the others is there, she will chase them away and take it for herself. There are fights, but Junior usually wins them.

Then there is Kenni, the second born. Kenni is far different from the others. If Kenni was a human, she'd be a linebacker. Nuff said. Yet she is a gentle giant. She loves to play. Drag a string along and she will follow you anywhere. 

These cats were born on our front porch. Their mother Timi was a stray that adopted us. She comes in to eat with her kids every morning, as well as whenever she gets the urge. She is an outside cat that spends plenty of time inside. Timi gave birth to the girls on July 11, 2007. It was love at first site. I couldn't part with any of them, so husband John and I have allowed them in to fill our empty nest and our hearts. They bring us joy and laughter. 

This is my first YouTube Video.

Summer in the Ozarks

This might just summarize my summer in the Ozarks.

This picture has all the elements
-- My beloved cat, Ryan who loves to peer out the window and watch the wildlife
-- The leaves of the oak tree that frames not just this picture, but so many beautiful scenes in the Ozarks
-- That thermometer tells the tale -- proof of the work of the strong, hot, sizzling Arkansas sun
-- A visiting fawn who stopped by with her mother and sister, who had already scampered off into the woods

This photo was taken from inside the sun porch where I like to wile away the hours, often with a glass of iced tea and my laptop. I am rarely without cats. There are six in all. One is an inside/outside cat. Timi was a stray who seemed to adopt us. We were so smitten by her that when she came home from one of her adventures in a family way, we also adopted her four kittens. They were all named after NASCAR drivers. Ryan is named for my favorite -- Ryan Newman. I already had a cat named Emily, who continues to adjust to the new kids on the block. Some days are better than others. The kittens were born on the front porch, but once Timi completed the event, I moved them all inside -- to the sun porch. Since it is the old neighborhood to them, I'm sure that is why they consider it theirs. On second thought, they think every room in the house is theirs. Hmm. I am grateful they share their room with me.

Life is good in the Ozarks.

New Blog about NASCAR

I've started a new blog -- all about NASCAR. It is one of the many things I enjoy writing about. CH on track contains a few stories that I've written. Hopefully I can keep it updated as the racing season progresses.

My favorite driver is Ryan Newman, so there will likely be a disproportionate number of posts related to Newman. However, while Newman will remain my favorite, the more I learn about NASCAR, the more I am interested in racing in general as well as individual drivers.

Homesick just isn't quite right

Chicagoland Speedway in the rain
-- courtesy of Chris Henrichs

Opening my desk drawer to retrieve a nail file, I happened to catch a glimpse of an old press badge. Judging from the name of the newspaper displayed on the yellowed, plastic card with a much younger version of my face on it, I imagine it to be from before 1999.

That badge predated the completion of the Chicagoland Speedway in Joliet, where I would be right now, if it were possible. I'd love to be at the NASCAR races this weekend. I've never been to a race, though that doesn't detract from my status as an avid fan, even if I must settle for television coverage.

I watched them build the Chicagoland track. It was miles from where I used to live. I even took a picture of the work in progress as the local reporter in a nearby town back then. I remember thinking that it was massive; it rose like a monolith on the flat, fertile land. In those days I didn't understand. I had very limited knowledge of racing. I knew nothing about NASCAR or drivers' personalities, or the speeds at which the cars are driven. I had no idea that this huge endeavor would add to the billion-dollar industry that is NASCAR. I had heard names like Richard Petty and Davey Allison, but knew nothing of who they were.

I recall meeting one of the track promoters at a local gathering, though I can't remember her name. She was very interested to learn that I worked for a newspaper, as she was obviously trying to publicize the track's activities. She offered to show me around the completed race track. And she said to call her if I was interested in press credentials, or if there was anything else she could do for me.

My how things have changed. Somewhere around 2004, I had my NASCAR awakening. My son, Chris introduced me to the sport and to Ryan Newman, his favorite driver. My adoration may have even surpassed that of my son. It didn't take long before I was completely obsessed, like so many others who worship at the oval altar of concrete and asphalt, banked turns, three-wide racing and photo finishes nearly every weekend. Friends and family know not to call me on race day.

Retired now, home is in Arkansas, not Illinois. I love living here, in the beautiful 'Natural State.' I'm not homesick for Illinois, but it sure would be nice to be there, if just for the weekend.