COVID-nobody is safe

"How the hell did you get COVID, you haven't been out of the house in 40 years?" was my son's reaction to my latest health news. I got a similar response from my daughter. These two know me too well.

While it is true, I seem to have a reputation as a home body, I'm not squirreled away in isolation, afraid to be with other people. I just happen to enjoy my solitude. Living in Arkansas among the trees and wildlife really suits me. It is a chosen lifestyle. I love it here. I always have. Going on 18 years in the Natural State, I am always thrilled to glance into the backyard to see the deer foraging on a honeysuckle bush, watch a frog dance in and out of our tiny pond next to the front porch, or check out one of the local stray cats I feed, scamper up a tree. 

It is easy to take these pleasures for granted. They really do define me. Home is where my heart is. And, I am happy here.

I admit that I haven't had much of a life outside of the home but that was also a choice based on a once-busy lifestyle. When I worked for a newspaper, I was rarely home. There were lots of people to interact with and I found myself going to many places I never would have gone to otherwise. I was always busy because I loved my job and was always ready to run out to cover a story at a moment's notice. I did that for 20 years. When we came here, I wanted a change. Yes, it was a financial struggle, but the peace of mind was so worth it. I came to love my own company, became a crazy cat woman, and relished my life in the woods.

My reclusive lifestyle, however, has run its course. I've recently made the decision to get out more. I felt it was time to open up my life again to new people, make new friends, and explore new possibilities. 

Maybe my timing is off, because three days after a weekend get together with friends, I started getting sick. Oh, the irony. I had been so diligent about protecting myself from COVID. I admit that I wasn't unhappy with the suggestion to stay at home. I did it anyway. But things have changed; the country is now open and seemingly doesn't take COVID very seriously anymore. I am still not around hoards of people and have gotten all my vaccines and boosters. Rarely is anyone seen with a mask these days. And I never even considered wearing a mask to a party with friends.

And then last Tuesday, I thought I had a cold or allergies. Those are big around here and the older I get the more susceptible I am to blooming of things. 

But the following day I realized this was not just a cold. More indescribable (because they are just gross) symptoms appeared. I took a test, and voila, it was positive. Frankly, I was not surprised. I knew this was not just a cold. That was a week ago and I am seeing improvement; there are moments when I feel great followed by explosive sneezing, non-productive coughing, and what I like to fondly call, liquid face where every orifice in my face leaks. (How gross is that?)

Because I am vaccinated, I suppose this could have been worse. I know it could because so many thousands of people have died from this virus. So many people still die from it. I'm grateful to not be one of them.

I'm not angry that I contracted this virus. What I am angry about is that it should not have gotten this bad. Had the inept, disgraced, twice impeached ex-president done his job, COVID would not have taken so much from so many. The virus replicated into so many different variants because we didn't stop it when we had the chance. I should not be sick right now because COVID should have been a thing of the past. But, with all the lies, innuendoes, and complete irresponsibility that has fueled this disease, if there is any blame to be assigned, Donald J. Trump is the man we must look to. 

Little is said these days about Trump's inept response to the initial COVID outbreak or the more than a million dead that has resulted. His lies about COVID have been diluted by so many more lies, cheats, and dastardly deeds.

With cold weather coming and predictions of more illness on the horizon, I guess I'll go back to my hibernation strategy. That's OK.  

Sometimes musing is just too exhausting

It has been two months since my last post, the last time I mused about anything worthwhile. The truth of the matter is that despite my love of writing and desire to communicate, I’ve had little desire or energy to write a single word. Even my daily journal now contains way too many empty pages. I feel that all inspiration and other feelings worth sharing have been completely sucked out of my body in the last year.

I know I’m not alone.

The last year—2020--will go down in the record books. It wasn’t just the Corona Virus Pandemic and horrific death tolls that have taken the lives of hundreds of thousands of good people in this country, but for me, the worst part was the Donald Trump Presidency. At the very least, its culmination with the November election, has not only contributed to those dead Americans, but has wrought violence and insecurity brought about by this thoughtless, careless, self-absorbed individual.

As far as the pandemic is concerned, my heart breaks for the countless families that have suffered or been lost to this horror. I’m personally grateful to have escaped it, though I made the decision to protect myself, to wear a mask when around other people and to stay home when possible.

The effect on my personal life has been minimal. I am a home body by nature. There is always something to do in and around the house. I find little need to seek out entertainment, rarely go out to dinner, travel, or feel like imposing myself on others for long periods of time. So, when told to stay home unless it is absolutely necessary to go out, I was OK with that. I know I am fortunate to not have to venture out into an infected environment.

Politics is another story however. I’ve spent some time during my life engaged in political activities, mostly from an activist perspective, but also as a journalist. I enjoyed political banter and liked writing about it. I’ve kept the habit even after retiring from writing for a living. I follow national politics with the same zeal as I did as a journalist. I feel that knowing what decisions are being made to control my life is not only good to know, it is must. Staying informed is not just a hobby; it is an obligation to being a responsible citizen.

I admit I’m grateful for not having had to write about all that has gone on in the last year—well the last four years—actually. Conversely, I’m angry at myself for not having written about it. There has been so much to say and I haven’t said it. In hindsight, I believe that was a mistake. Communicating truth is always important and necessary, especially in the atmosphere for which we have been living. I didn’t do my part. I regret that.

Personally, I was opposed to electing Trump in the first place. I never bought the notion that we needed a businessman in the Oval Office. First of all, there is a huge difference between business and government. Business is a profit motive endeavor while government is not. It is a representative management of the people’s business and any money involved belongs to and originates from the public. Decisions being made are supposed to be for the good of the public.

That would apply to any business person, but especially this one, whose business prowess was suspect from the start. Never, did I have any use for this self-aggrandizing man/child. His lack of character was evident to me way back when he first appeared in the public eye decades ago. Clearly, he was not anyone I would have ever guessed would end up in the highest office in the land. When he did, I believe he bungled every decision he ever made, because his motive was clearly laser-focused on himself and his own interests. He exploited the office for himself at the expense of millions of Americans.

His sole interest in the public was the small number he could prey upon, the vulnerable he could con. He co-opted the Evangelical right which was already filled with “believers” anxious to follow anyone, real or imaginary, that they could call their leader.

Trump’s final act, the one that finally crossed the line, actually began shortly after he claimed the office of the Presidency, to gin up support for himself at everyone else’s expense. His typical practice merely escalated to the point of the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol that resulted in five dead and many more injured. The potential, which was noticed all too clearly by lawmakers, could have been far worse.

Trump began his ‘rallies’ shortly after he took office as a means of his own public verbal masturbation and ended up engaging millions who were happy to please him. His aim was to discredit anyone who disagreed with him, including political opponents and reporters who asked questions he deemed unfavorable.

I could go on and on about why Trump’s holding the office of the Presidency was annoying to me personally and dangerous to this country, but suffice it to say that I am just grateful he has been stripped of the power of the office and any ‘leadership’ status. The country is better off for it.

Now, I await the Covid-19 vaccine. Won’t it be nice to know that breathing someone else’s air will not kill us?